When Gareth and I saw the Oncologist before Christmas he looked closely at my recent medical history and all, yes, all my cancers. Two basal cell carcinoma on my face, G remembered those, my first breast cancer, the melanoma on my leg, a couple of months later and then a second breast cancer just over a year later. He asked a few questions about my family history, one side isn’t good. I had read an article a few months earlier which had raised questions…could that be me? “Genetics for you then.” he had said thoughtfully as had the dermatologist when she saw my history. I was quite relieved he was joining the dots, my surgeon when I asked what was going on replied “they are not connected” and was quite dismissive.
So six months later I see the genetic counsellor. I had filled in a extensive questionnaire showing my entire family history. It took a lot of completion and was not the nicest form to complete as it involved many phone calls to family members asking for cancer histories. So as she went through the details. I was aware of most of what she said, but the difference was how it related to me and my cancers. This part I found a little unnerving. I do fit the profile a bit too well. She also gently explained how my treatment would change and the potential impact for the girls and other family members. The latter I hate, my girls will never have that blissful ignorance of breast cancer but they may have to cope with much more. I do find this upsetting, who wouldn’t ..? It was suggested that we could put the test on hold as I have been through a lot the last two years. That may be the case, but the cat is out of the bag so to speak and I would rather try and gain some certainty so I can move on. Putting it off I am simply kicking the can down the road…. and potentially putting myself at a greater risk of recurrence. If I have the gene, surgery is available which will reduce my risk quite considerably (although not prevent it!). It is quite radical but is the option I will pursue.
So forms are signed, results can come back inconclusive and it takes time. So we wait again… until September, almost two years to the day since it all kicked off. I will try to put it to one side. We have some lovely things planned this summer and I am looking forward to summer and all that is brings. September will come soon enough and hopefully we can move on in one form or another. As ever we stay hopeful!
Things I am grateful for:-
- I handed in my first assignment since returning to university.
- Our recent weekend break to Avebury which was so tranquil and peaceful
- The lovely sunshine, much needed after the seemingly endless days of rain
Things I am looking forward to this summer
- School finishing… the slower pace that the summer holiday brings and time with the girls and G
- Seeing my flower bed at the allotment grow
- Our holiday to Skiathos
- Our trip to Nice
- Seeing Hamilton
- Our annual trip to Giffords Circus
- Catching up with friends
- Going to Wimbledon.. ( always wanted to go so very excited!)
- A visit to Highgrove Gardens